Saturday, May 22, 2010

Unspoken Love

Sounds like a title of some Harlequin romance novel does it not? Permit me to be a bit flowery for this blog, for my heart is demanding it. Last night my family and I went to a friends house for a dinner in our honour and for the purpose of sending us off well. We were 5 couples in total. Five couples who have been together as friends for a very very long time. Some from my husbands camp days, some from our early married years (15+ years!!) and others honestly I cannot remember the moment we befriended them but it feels as though they have always been in our lives. These are friends who cry with us, pray with us and laugh (a lot with us). I adore them, I feel so comfortable with them, I love them.

Last night as we approached the venue, anxiety set in, questions flew around in my head. What if tonight is just about crying about the upcoming proximity changes to our friendships. What if I cannot keep it together and make my last moments with them for a while just a big blubbering mess? My thoughts kept flashing faster and faster and before I knew it we were there. I approached the door with my heart pounding knowing that this night will be special but would I be able to bear it?

We were welcomed with our usual hugs and then something amazing happened. We carried on as usual, there were some tears but mostly laughter about stupid things we, okay mostly I, have done there were questions about expectations, talk of our children, we even did what looked like a break out session as the women stayed in the living room to chat and the boys remained on the back porch around the BBQ. All things we do when we gather together for no special reason.

It was an ordinary evening in so many ways, yet I was in awe of the love that I felt surrounded me. See, as we went through the evening I began to notice so many signs of our unspoken love for one another. I would occasionally catch the eye of one them and notice a slight tear and a knowing smile that said you will be missed my friend. The lulls that happen in normal conversation were not one of the awkward silences that one would typically expect but instead those moments were filled with the silence of sobered hearts waiting for things to change. I have never been hugged or physically touched so much and I loved it.

But I said nothing. I could not speak of my heavy heart, I could not start my flow of tears I could not.. It is not that they are not allowed, if you know me you know I love emotions, it is not only my job as therapist it is my personality to encourage and live fully in the moment. So no, sadness was not banned or black listed I just put it aside last night on purpose. The purpose was to live fully in the moment with my friends and celebrate the amazing blessing they have been and I know they will continue to be in my life. I hope and pray they felt the message I brought with me last night, a message that was unspoken but loud. The message I want to speak was this:

I love you all, I celebrate you all and I cherish you all, thank you for your amazing friendships and I cannot wait to see how the distance we will soon incur will strength the bonds of our hearts.
You are God's blessing to me and I thank you for loving me like you do.

Shine on My Friends

1 comment:

  1. Allie -
    the interactions between your family and your friends are a joy to behold. You all function in a very special rhythm, and your faith is the centre of it all.

    You are loved, because you love others so well. I'm glad you were able to have such an awesome night to celebrate that.