Monday, May 10, 2010
Hi my name is Allie, can you knock me out please ?
What About Bob, one my favourite movies of all times. In one scene Bob a boards a bus to find his psychologist who is on vacation. This is a big move for Bob as he is afraid of leaving his apartment (among many other things..) anyway Bob boards the bus and the first person he meets he asks to knock him out. I guess Bob just did not want to handle the scary messy part of getting to where he needed to go and felt the bus ride would only be manageable if unconscious.
I kinda feel like that today, for the next three weeks things are going to be kinda rough. Out of the next 35 clients, I have 22 final goodbyes. We have our last St.Giles Kingsway/ The Well church service this coming Sunday. I have my last book club, our last connect group and at this point I am treating any dinners/lunches and coffee dates as my last on Canadian soil. Most of which are crammed in the next 2 weeks. Lots of "see you laters", I hate goodbyes. I am also at the nit picky part of packing, still ready to just set fire to things I cannot make my mind up about the decision of where to send it.
Hi, My name is Allie, can you knock me out please?
I would to like just wake up and start life in Nassau and skip all the "see you laters" and final sessions and boxes..really I would! But I realize however, that would be a cop out. The transitional phase of something is perhaps one of they most important phases there is. It is a stage of uncertainty, exhaustion from second guessing and emotionally going between the now and will be. But the transitional phase is one that in the end brings about some sort of transformation. Sure my home is literally being transformed, my career is being transformed, my way of life is being transformed but more importantly I am being transformed from the inside out. That is painfully awesome.
Yes, I would prefer to drop in to a coma and awaken transformed but that is not how it works. I am ending well, I know I am. I am tired but I am determined to not regret or sleep through what I want to leave here in Canada these next 3 weeks. So if I ask you to knock me out..please do not listen to me, I will thank you later.