Saturday, May 8, 2010
The Chaos and The Calm.
Right now my house is the most chaotic picture you could ever imagine. I have bags and boxes of various sizes piled up in scattered locations in literally every room. There are the things that are now free for the taking and about to be given to a charity...there are the items already sold but not yet picked up....there are items that we continue to need up until the move... there are items already packed and ready for transport to Nassau... there are items that are being moved to store at the cottage and there are items that still need to be sorted..
I look around and everything in my visual field causes me to the mental exercise of keep, give away, cottage, Nassau, ... My brain hurts.. it really hurts. I cannot wait to live more simply and stop the analysis in my head. At least I hope that happens, this experience might yet cause me to crack permanently!
There is however a strange calm in my life about the people who are in it. One might think that that I would be a crying mess all the time and to be honest I do cry often but not about the people you think I would cry about. I cry at leaving the impact I have with my clients, and I cry about leaving the consistency of seeing them each week. But when it comes to my friends and family, I have a beautiful "must be God given" calm. I am strangely calm about the people in my life. I think it is because I know the relationships that are strong will endure this minor blip of distance. Family and friends, if they are true might be slightly tested as we figure out how to maneuver the distance factor but the calm that I am experiencing is because I do not fear losing them. I will always have them in my life, whether they be found in my heart, on my skype contact list, or in my guest room in Nassau. Without that calm this chaos that is currently surrounding me and causing my brain to hurt would be unbearable. I am thankful for the people that God has and will surround me with because I know they are there to stay.