Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Enter the Monster

Wow, my final week in Canada is upon me. All signs point to the reality of this 7 day countdown; the echo of my feet in my empty house, the wall of taped and labelled boxes awaiting pickup, the X's on my calendar which mark the passing of the days and so much more. I believe I am at the point of "let's get there already", we have been organizing, sorting, selling, giving away, storing and packing all of our possessions for nearly three months and I am tired. I have been preparing clients for my departure, crying with friends and family, and I have attended so many wonderful but bittersweet goodbye dinners, lunches and teas. I am nearly done but I am tired.

I am afraid that I have become so tired that the not so pleasant side of my personality has arisen and now has taken control of my demeanor. A part I call, Monster Me. She is edgy, lacking patience, and is a bit of a control freak. Yep.. that is me, the monster. I do not care for Monster Me but she here and she is real. She needs to be addressed not berated. She needs love and not a lecture. Humbly I write this blog in the hope that it allows Monster Me to be expressed but not dominate, to be present but not ruin my last week in Canada.

I am not sure this blog will come as a surprise to those around me as Monster Me is kinda hard to hide. So what I want to say is thank you to all of you who are putting up with Monster Me, thank you for seeing it as somewhat normal and thank you for loving me through this. And to all who are a bit disillusioned by Monster Me, do not worry I have not gone anywhere and I will come back soon. How can I say this? Whether it is Monster Me or regular me what has kept me going is my favourite bible verse of all times:

From the end of the earth will I cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed:
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 61:2

God is that rock for me, I trust in His plan for our lives and even when Monster Me's actions would seem to indicate otherwise I firmly believe and hold on to the truth found on my rock. I will shine again soon, but until then I will trust and depend upon the Rock where my feet are planted, He is amazing.


  1. even your Monster you is kinda fun...loveable and maybe a little edgy - but who else could be such a perfect combination?
    Enjoy your last week - have butter tarts, and maple syrup and some back bacon...

  2. Only you could make green matted fur, ping pong ball eyes and a uni-brow work! your monster me would look like finnegan beside the creature that I became last week. Can't wait to hear the blogs from the new place!

  3. My friends are so wonderful! Thank you for all the comments on facebook, here and email!