Last week my husband posted on his facebook status that we had only 40 days left until we become Bahamian residents. "40 days!" said I. "40 days " gasp "@#%&!" What? When I last counted there were 72 left how did it get to 40? "The passing of an entire month" said my sarcastic inner voice. "That was not helpful", I said back " do not make fun of this, 40 days is not a lot. 40 days, isn't that how long really good yogi's can go without food? Yikes! How can I possibly get done all I need to within 40 days!" So I went on like that in my head for a good day.. making it 39, then 38... you get the picture.
Countdowns are traditionally exciting, I remember counting down to Christmas, counting down to my vacation, and counting down to when I was told to expect my first child. Countdowns are meant to create suspense and excitement for a big event. This countdown, it is a big event but it is a sober one right now and it is hard to remain focused on the excitement.
I want to say that I know Bahamas is where we are suppose to be, that without a doubt Bahamas will be exciting and quite an adventure for the MacPhail family. But right now for me June 3rd, the end of the countdown, will not end with fireworks or a party, for me it will end with a tearful Allie boarding the plane trying to be brave.
Countdowns are traditionally exciting, I remember counting down to Christmas, counting down to my vacation, and counting down to when I was told to expect my first child. Countdowns are meant to create suspense and excitement for a big event. This countdown, it is a big event but it is a sober one right now and it is hard to remain focused on the excitement.
I want to say that I know Bahamas is where we are suppose to be, that without a doubt Bahamas will be exciting and quite an adventure for the MacPhail family. But right now for me June 3rd, the end of the countdown, will not end with fireworks or a party, for me it will end with a tearful Allie boarding the plane trying to be brave.
"Okay enough of my pity party" said the voice of internalize mom
" I think you need a new countdown, one that has fireworks, one that has a party."
I agree but with that goal in mind I also need a change of perspective. A countdown that says hello instead of goodbye, a countdown that starts something and does not feel like an ending. Okay here goes. June 3rd, say around dinner time. The MacPhails and their animals will have safely arrived and would be in their new home. Picture them awaiting the delivery of the best pizza ever tasted (Marco's pizza in Bahamas is incredible) being together just them, celebrating the amazingness of God. Boom! fireworks light the sky, (okay for our purpose an amazing sunset will do) a party starts (the incredible volume of the stray dogs in the neighbourhood baying at darkening sky will have to do). AHHHHH that is better, more doable. I know there will be more heartache in the goodbyes left to do and more sweat in the packing but I know God is good and is in all of this..so really who needs a countdown, June 3rd is just a continuation of a journey, it is simply taking a sharp right turn south that day. 
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