I stood looking at my kitchen in awe. I had achieved a great feat, I had gone through all the cupboards, drawers and pantry. They were full, now barren with the exception of the necessities which get packed last minute. I was so proud, my body language was full of "look what I did" I felt like a conqueror, an attentive to details, overlooking nothing!! Moi! Me!! I was beaming, sweaty and so pleased with myself. I filled my glass with water and leaned back against the counter, satisfied with the huge accomplishment.I rolled my neck around a bit to sooth the achy muscles, it was then I notice it. The forgotten cupboard. You know the one above your fridge that is set about 2 feet behind the front of the fridge making it impossible to get at and even with a chair it is so high that you always need to bend like Gumby to get at its contents? Yeah, that one. 
There it was sulking that I had forgotten to be attentive to it. I was so upset, that drink of water was about to be they most satisfying drink and now I was forced to put it down because to celebrate something undone was not right. I wanted to turn the other way, to refuse to acknowledge the existence of such a stupidly placed cupboard. Maybe, just maybe, I could force the idea of that cupboard out of my mind, then without guilt I could drink my water. I wanted to curse the carpenter who decided that people everywhere needed such a useless space. I wanted to whine, it was unfair I had to deal with this cupboard why not leave it for the new house occupants to discover its contents. Why me? But you will be happy to know, I did deal with it. Not with the greatest of care, or sweetest disposition but I did. And I am happy I did for within it was one of Bryn's baby dishes so carefully cared for my his mom and passed on to Anya. Sure it had not been used in years but it was special and meant to be cherished. I felt bad for not cherishing it the way it had been for years, It was full of dust, and lonely in the cupboard, not treated the way it should have been. I cleaned it up, wrapped it carefully and placed it in the box with other special breakable things. It was were it belonged now. Now I could drink my water. I was done. I was challenged but it was worth it.It got me thinking of how sometimes we feel forgotten, out of place, or unworthy of care. We can feel we are like that out of the way cupboard that no one wants to open because it seems so awkward and daunting. Left alone for years to wonder "do we count?" Wondering if we were opened up would we scare others with what is inside, or would they find anything of use? Those are scary thoughts but you must know, that while people forget or cannot bring themselves to acknowledge the forgotten, God does not. He remembers His every creation, whether they hide behind the fridge or are in a spotlight. God will never run from us, it is us that runs from Him thinking we are worthy to be forgotten. Total lie! If you feel like The Forgotten, stop it. You are not and that is the truth. Know that sometime soon you will realize just how loved and cherished you are by the One who never forgets.
Shine On my Friends.
I was at my cottage these past two days for a bit of R & R with my husband. It was much needed considering all we have been doing and all we have ahead of us as we transition to Nassau. I am happy to report I am refreshed but in ways that are different than I thought I needed. I thought the two days were going to be peaceful and calm, but it would appear that God had other plans. From the outside I was calm and quiet but on the inside, the small world of Allie's brain was in overdrive. I found that I had trouble sleeping and sitting still (for those of you who know me you will not be surprised but this was over the top) I was restless and somewhat anxious, I suppose when I am moving around this energy is expelled but sitting with no boxes to pack, or rooms to sort left me feeling antsy. At every corner of the cottage, rock in the yard or bug on the ground I found myself crying, a lot. I felt like I was saying goodbye. In my saying goodbye I strangely wondered if it would miss me, would there be a difference without Allie at the cottage. I know that makes me sound strange but I am so connected there I did wonder if Albert the chipmunk would miss the popcorn I put out or if Harry the hummingbird would wonder where the feeder went. The list went on and my tears poured out quite steadily. Finally I had enough with the tears and sadness, laced up my running shoes and went on my familiar run by the bog and up some amazing hills. I do my best thinking when running, and this was no exception. During my run I remembered a sign post about 3km into my run that I have tagged with my chewed gum every time I run by. I wondered if anyone ever saw the sign post and wondered what the heck? I love drawing peoples attention away from their everyday lives to notice the extraordinary. I love my gum signpost. In a way, although I am sure somewhat illegal, that post helps me feel like I left my mark on the cottage road. In my mind, It meant "Allie was here and she dominated these hills", something to hang my hat on in a I count for something kind of way. Then God said (Not audibly but that would have been cool) "Allie, enough, your mark on this world is not about popcorn, bird feed or even a sign full of gum. Your mark on this world is about Me, I use you wherever you are if you let Me. You have shone in this part of the world now it is time to shine in Nassau." The point was I think, that God needed me to remember I was here to shine for Him, not for me but for Him. I want to leave a mark anywhere I go and I know that for the most part I often fail at doing that, but this gum sign reminded me that God wants me to leave His mark on the world, not mine. It is a source of peace to know I do not have to contrive a plan for myself to know that I count, I do not need a gum sign to prove I have achieved something. What I need to do is shine for Him, tell others His story and hope that through me God's mark is left on others. Shine on my friends.
